5 Tip for Handling a Bad Mood

5 Tips for Handling a Bad Mood

Five suggestions for how to skillfully handle a bad mood
Two weeks ago, I was in a bad mood—a mood so bad that it qualified for what we (un)affectionately refer to in our household as a foul mood. A bunch of little irritations had added up: some yarn I wanted was two weeks overdue in the mail; I couldn’t find a book I was looking for; the pull cord on one of my bedroom shades was hopelessly tangled. (I’ll spare you the rest.)

I don’t get in bad moods very often, but it happens and, to be frank, it feels awful. (A bad mood is to be distinguished from a heavy or dark mood that goes unchanged for weeks at a time. The latter could be a sign of clinical depression in which case I hope you'll seriously consider seeking the advice of a counselor.) 

Here are five suggestions for skillfully handling a bad mood:

Make an effort not to inflict your mood on others.

I try hard not to inflict a bad mood on those around me (usually my husband). And, when I slip up, I push myself to apologize even if I don’t feel like it. Not only is an apology a nice gesture toward another, but I’ve notice it can lessen the intensity of a bad mood. I think it’s because, when you apologize, you’re forced to reach out to another person and that takes you out of your self-focused mind set.

Cut yourself some slack.

I’ve yet to spend time with anyone who hasn’t been in a bad mood now and then. In a May, 2010 interview with Time Magazine, the Dalai Lama said that he still gets angry; I assume this means that he still can get in a bad mood. Many years ago, I had a Buddhist teacher who was wise and insightful…and subject to bad moods. I never knew what mood I’d encounter when I met with him.

The take away from these two examples is this: if these two people can be in a bad mood, feel free to cut yourself some slack when it happens to you! Adding a negative judgment to your mood, such as “I shouldn’t feel this way” does nothing but increase the likelihood that a bad mood will turn into a foul one. So, instead of blaming yourself, let it be okay with you to be in a bad mood now and then. It’s just one of the full range of emotions that everyone experiences in life.

When it happens, treat yourself with understanding and kindness, and see if there’s a way to ease how bad you’re feeling. A temporary distraction can help, such as a favorite movie or a warm bath.

Investigate it.

In How to Wake Up, I offer a four-step approach for working skillfully with an unpleasant mood or emotion. The third step is to investigate it. Sometimes this can yield surprisingly fruitful results. The day before this past Christmas, I was in a bad mood. My husband seemed quite cheerful, so I resolved not to inflict it on him. Instead, I decided to investigate why I was in such a funk.

I know that I can be a bit sad at times during the holidays, but I don’t recall ever being in such a bad mood right before Christmas—so cranky and irritable. Using investigation to think about my life, I uncovered a negative association I have with Christmas. I realized that, for me, it’s associated with loss—one loss after another.

When I was ten years old, my father died just before Christmas. I felt his absence every Christmas after that until I met my husband and began to spend Christmas with his family. My father-in-law, Huey, took the place of my dad. They were both kind, gentle, and good-natured men. I even remember telling my husband that Huey had become my Santa Claus because they both embodied good will and the cheerful spirit of Christmas. Then Huey died when I was 37, and Christmas lost its luster again.

I took refuge in the traditions we’d developed with our own children, but when they grew up and started families of their own, they started their own traditions. We know we’re welcome to join them (my daughter at her house in Los Angeles and my son at his in-laws near San Diego), but I’m too sick to travel. Another loss associated with the holidays.

This reflective investigation led me to see that this mild sadness I tend to feel when the holidays roll around had turned into a bad mood this year simply because of the cumulative effect of all those losses. As soon as I realized that I associate Christmas with loss, my bad mood turned into a blue mood—a familiar sadness that softened my heart and made it possible for compassion to arise over how hard this time of year can be for me.

When I compassionately accepted those losses as part of my life story, the blue mood eventually lifted, and I was able to make the best of the Christmas that lay before me.

Put your mood in perspective and consider reaching out to someone in need.

Yes, my mom was one of those parents who said: “Eat your food; there are children starving in China.” I consider it admirable that I never imposed this on my own children as they were trying to enjoy a meal. That said, thinking about how insignificant a bad mood is compared to the suffering in the world can put that mood into perspective. Imagine trying to raise your children in Syria right now, never knowing when explosives may hit your house. Imagine being a refuge, living in a tent city due to warfare or a natural disaster.

Putting a bad mood into perspective can not only make it less intense, but can inspire you to reach out to someone in need. Helping others is another skillful way to lessen the intensity of a bad mood. It works. I know, because I’ve tried it. The trick, of course, is remembering to try it. Practice helps; with practice, reaching out to others can become a habit.

Let it be until it runs its course.

I used to worry that a bad mood was the sign of a “new me”—that it was here to stay. But no bad mood has ever taken up permanent residence in my mind. This is because a mood is a mental state that arises due to causes and conditions of the moment, and those causes and conditions will change (that yarn I was waiting for did, indeed, arrive). Realizing the fleeting nature of a bad mood can help you hold it more lightly until it runs its course and passes out of your mind.

In my book, I call this “letting it be,” and it’s the last step in that four-step approach to working skillfully with a painful mood or emotion. A bad mood is only a temporary visitor. It’s no big deal. When it happens, let it be without aversion, and try the suggestions in this piece:

Make an effort not to inflict your mood on others;

Cut yourself some slack;

See whether investigation sheds light on its cause;

Put your mood in perspective and consider reaching out to someone in need;

Let it be until it runs its course, knowing that it’s not a permanent part of who you are.

© 2014 Toni Bernhard www.tonibernhard.com

E-mail me when people leave their comments –

You need to be a member of HEALING INTUITION MASSAGE THERAPY CLINIC to add comments!


  • Nike Air Max 98 Grey Habanero Red comes highlighted with mesh and leather while Grey runs across the base and Sail is also used.During the month of March we can expect a ramp-up of Air Max releases due to Air Max Day taking place on the 26th.In addition we have Habanero Red which outlines the Swoosh, lands on the eyelets and placed within the Air Max unit.Also joining the festivities, the brand is releasing the Air Max 98. Finishing the look is 3M Reflective on the pipping.

    Air Force 1 Shadow Beige first saw the model release during July 2019 and now the Air Max Box will release again, this time using a flashy color theme.Specifically engineered for cardio boxing workouts, the Nike Air Max Box takes the Air Max 270 platform and creates a performance shoe that provides ankle and foot stability.The Air Max cushioning gives maximum comfort and support.Using a large outsole radius provides greater ground contact and foot-movement control.As for the design, it allows support and responsiveness for cardio boxing classes and workouts. It also features premium materials combine with performance mesh.

    Nike Air Max 90 features White leather across the base while Black leather covers the mudguard, plastic eyestay and around the Air Max unit.As we continue to showcase upcoming Air Max 90 releases, we now take a look at a kids exclusive that will be arriving soon.Other details includes Blue and Aqua accents throughout while White lands on the part of the midsole and Black covers the rubber outsole.

    Nike Air Max 98 | Buy Best Price Adidas&Nike Sport Sneakers
  • Nike Air Force 1 Easter 2020 Dressed in a White, Barely Volt, and Hyper Blue color scheme. Nike Sportswear will once again be celebrating “Easter” with a special edition Air Force 1 for the occasion.This Nike Air Force 1 Low features a White leather upper with Blue outlining the Volt Swoosh logos on the sides. Iridescent detailing on the toe and heel completed with cracked egg logos on the tongues and insoles.

    Nike Air Max 2090 Photon Dust Dressed in a Photon Dust, Midnight Turquoise, and Solar Flare color scheme. The Nike Air Max 2090 is set to make its debut during this year’s Air Max Day celebration. Adding to its upcoming lineup is this “Photon Dust” colorway.This Air Max 2090 features an Ice Blue translucent-layered upper with matching cassette around the Air unit and heel logo. Volt contrasting accents atop a White midsole completes the design.

    Cheap Jordans 2020 will be celebrating Air Max Day 2020 with their own Nike Air Max 95 collaboration.It comes constructed in a mixture of premium materials and vibrant colors.size? x Nike Air Max 95 “20 Years of size?”Dubbed “20 Years of size?” this Air Max 95 is inspired by 20 different Air Max styles that are featured throughout this shoe celebrating the store’s 20 years in business.

    Nike Air Force 1 | Buy Best Price Adidas&Nike Sport Sneakers
  • Nike Air Max 90 City Pack Shanghai With a synthetic upper that’s breathable a flexible, patent leather overlays are added to add structure to the shoe and deliver on durability – so you can rest assured that these AM90 will absolutely smash the test of time.Nike Air Max 90 City Pack Shanghai Delivery Service Workers is part of Nike’s new City Pack which pays homage to some of the most iconic cities in the world – and its workers. Nike’s iconic branding comes in the form of a Swoosh logo to the side and a synthetic Nike Air patch to the heel.Wearable and thought provoking, this pair is an absolute essential.Bright blue and orange work in perfect tandem to ensure this pair cannot be missed, and at the side of the shoe you can find a row of stars that nod to China’s national flag.

    Jordan 2020 Release,Whether you’re a runner or looking for a comfortable everyday sneaker, it’s unlikely this pair will let you down when it comes to performance.Nike Vaporfly 4% Flyknit Deep Royal Red is the latest in Nike’s extensive catalogue of running sneakers, and uses the label’s specially designed technology to go above and beyond to improve performance.They’re crafted from Nike’s signature Flyknit fabric, offering a lightweight and adaptable fit while not compromising on performance.The silhouette was originally designed by the label’s team of experts to help Eliud Kipchoge break the 2-hour marathon mark, which he successfully broke wearing Nike Vaporfly 4% shoes, achieving a time of 1 hour, 59 minutes and 40 seconds.

    Supreme x Nike Air Force 1 Low Black Crafted from smooth leather, the upper on these Supreme Nike Air Force 1 is finished with perforations that push air around the foot to keep you cool all day.Nike’s bestselling silhouette gets an urban update with the Supreme x Nike Air Force 1 Low Black. The side is finished with Nike’s instantly recognisable Swoosh logo and below sits the iconic Supreme box logo.Designed with all the signature elements of the iconic AF1 silhouette, these Nikes are an absolute must cop for anyone looking to elevate their collection to premium status.The midsole comes in jet black to match the rest of the sneaker and the textured tread ensures optimised grip.

    Nike Air Max 90 | Buy Best Price Adidas&Nike Sport Sneakers
  • Nike Dunk Low Kentucky was revealed by Devin Booker during NBA All-Star Weekend to go along with the “Syracuse” colorway in celebration of the 35th Anniversary of the Dunk.White continues on the tongues, inner liner, and midsole to complete the design.Nike Dunk Low “Kentucky” features a White leather upper with Royal Blue overlays, laces, tongue branding, Swoosh logos and rubber outsole.

    Jordans 2019 Shoes,Last seen back in 2016 as part of Nike’s Dunk High “Be True” college run, the “Syracuse” colorway will be returning this time as a low-top to celebrate the 35th Anniversary of the Dunk.Orange continues on the laces, Nike branding on the tongue label and rubber outsole completed with a White midsole.Nike Dunk Low “Syracuse” features a White leather upper with Orange overlays.

    2019 Sneakers Release will be expanding their partnership into Spring 2020 with collaborative release of the Air Zoom Spiridon Caged, Air Zoom Spiridon KK, and Benassi Slides. Also added to the lineup is the Benassi Slides that will be available in four colorways. No leaked photos have surfaced, so stay tuned for more updates.Stussy x Nike Air Zoom Spiridon will launch in three color options including, “Pure Platinum/Black-White,” “Black/Cool Grey-White” and “Fossil/Black-Fossil,” while the Air Zoom Spiridon KK will be offered in two colorways dressed in “Black/White-Bright Cactus” and “White/Black-Habanero Red.”

    Nike SB Dunk | Buy Best Price Adidas&Nike Sport Sneakers
  • Nike Air Max 90 Reverse Duck Camo features an Infrared upper instead of Black with duck camouflage overlays on the mudguard and quarter panels.Back in 2013, Japan’s Atmos released their “Duck Camo” edition of the Air Max 90. For 2020, an alternate version of the shoe is rumored to release during Air Max Day 2020.Black detailing throughout atop a White midsole completes the design.It has yet to be confirmed whether or not this is a continuation of atmos’ Air Max 90 collaboration from 2013.

    New Jordan,The Air Jordan 1 Low has easily become one of the Jordan Brand’s favorite silhouette, and now the shoe is set to launch in a brand new “Spruce Aura” colorway. Highlighting the shoe is its frayed Wings logos on the heels completed with a White midsole and Spruce Aura rubber outsole.Air Jordan 1 Low “Spruce Aura” comes constructed in a canvas built featuring a White base with pastel-Green hue overlays.

    2019 Sneakers Release,The Air Jordan 1 High OG “Fresh Mint” will be another new Air Jordan 1 colorway that’s part of Jordan Brand’s early 2021 lineup.No leaked photos have surfaced, but this Air Jordan 1 is expected to feature a Sail base with Black overlays, Light Army on the upper collar, tongue label, and outsole completed with Fresh Mint Swooshes and Wings logo.Air Jordan 1 High OG “Fresh Mint” Dressed in a Black, Light Army, Sail, and Fresh Mint color scheme.

    Nike Air Max 90 | Buy Best Price Adidas&Nike Sport Sneakers
  • Nike Blazer Mid ’77 Vintage White Platinum Tint features a White tumbled leather upper with matching smooth leather Swooshes on the sides.Nike continues to expand their Blazer Mid ’77 Vintage lineup, and with the spring season right around the corner the model is set to launch in an almost all-White offering.A padded tongue atop a Sail rubber outsole completes the design.Grey suede overlays on the eyelets as well as covering the mesh heel paired with Sail leather overlays on the toe area.

    New Jordan will be celebrating Air Max Month with an upcoming Air Jordan 4 “Neon” that’s inspired by the OG Air Max 95.This Air Jordan 4 features Grey hues on its suede upper paired with White netting highlighted with Neon accents.Air Jordan 4 SE “Air Max 95 Neon” Dressed in a Cool Grey, Volt, Wolf Grey, and Anthracite color scheme.3M reflective Nike Air branding on the heels completes the design.

    New Adidas Boost 2020 will be debuting their new Yeezy Basketball model in 2020, which will include this upcoming “Quantum” colorway.adidas Yeezy Basketball “Quantum” Having a similar build as the Yeezy Boost 350 V2,Ye’s first performance basketball sneaker has been seen several times on his feet over the past year.but comes with an extended ankle collar, suede overlays on the toe highlighted with reflective detailing.

    Nike Blazer | Buy Best Price Adidas&Nike Sport Sneakers
  • Nike Air Max 90 nods to France and its revered culinary by honoring Parisian bakers for their understated artistry and unflinching work ethic.On the tongue and heel, modified Nike Air branding incorporates the French flag and an embroidered illustration of wheat.Taking a cue from the traditional chef’s uniform, the style starts with a White base.Sport Blue embroidery on the inside of the tongue completes this delicious look.The insole includes more gluten-infused drawings and a graphic mimicking traditional bakery packaging, complete with a list of ingredients.

    2019 Sneakers Release will retro the “All-Star” colorway of the LeBron 7.Nike LeBron 7 “All-Star”Dressed in a Chlorine Blue and Black color scheme.Following the return of the “Red Carpet” and “Christmas” makeups,It features a Blue upper with woodgrain-like texture across its overlay paired with Black detailing.This Nike LeBron 7 was originally debuted by LeBron James during the 2010 NBA All-Star Game matching his Eastern Conference uniform.

    Jordans 2019 Shoes,Rain or shine, delivery workers traverse crowded avenues and steep staircases with a singular focus.A 5-star rating replaces traditional Nike Air branding on the mudguard, while a receipt-inspired tongue tag recalls memories of past transactions. Nike Air Max 90 “Shanghai” pays respect to the underappreciated profession in the bustling city of Shanghai.Embroidery on the inside of the tongue helps bring the motif home.On the insole, two colorful illustrations depict scooters, a preferred mode of transportation for deliveries.

    Nike Air Max 90 | Buy Best Price Adidas&Nike Sport Sneakers
  • Heya i’m for the first time here. I found this board and I find It truly useful & it helped me out much. I hope to give something back and aid others like you aided me. buy CBD oil

    Buy Premium Quality CBD products from Royal CBD for 100% FREE SHIPPING and a 30-day money-back guarantee! Browse all of our potent CBD for sale: oils…
  • 2019 Sneakers Release is set to release a third “All Bros” colorway of Giannis Antetokounmpo’s signature shoe, the Zoom Freak 1.A gradient midsole, speckled reverse Swoosh logo and “All Bros” printed on the insole completes the design.The “All Bros” series is inspired by Giannis’ relationship with his brothers, Thanasis, Kostas, Francis, and Alexis.Nike Zoom Freak 1 “All Bros” features a Turquoise upper paired with Blue hues and Black detailing throughout.

    Air Jordan 1 Mid Iridescent features a Pinkish/Beige suede upper with Black covering the ballistic toe cap and Swoosh overlay, nylon tongues, liners, and rubber outsole.Jordan Brand is set to launch a brand new “Iridescent” Air Jordan 1 Mid as part of their exclusive women’s lineup.Highlighting the shoe is an iridescent heel collar and heel overlay to complete the design.

    New Jordan 2019 is set to launch their latest collaboration with Nike focused around the Nike React Presto silhouette.Each shoe features flecked speckling throughout equipped with heavy-duty tooling for the current climate atop an enhanced traction underfoot.Undercover x Nike React Presto will release in three upcoming colorways: Mahogany/White-Pueblo Brown-String, White/Black-White, and Black/White-Black-Black.Other details inches leather overlays and forefoot translucent weather guards completed with dual branding on the insoles and heels atop Nike’s React cushioning.

    2019 Sneakers Release – 2019 Nike Jordan and Adidas Sneakers Release Date
  • Air Jordan 3 SE Red Cement Dressed in a Fire Red, Cement Grey, and Black color scheme.To celebrate 2020 NBA All-Star Weekend in Chicago, Jordan Brand will be releasing a pair of Air Jordan 3s for the occasion, with one of the being this “Red Cement” colorway.It features a Red tumbled leather upper paired with elephant print overlays on the toe and heel, along with Grey leather on the perforated eyelets, ankle collar, and smooth leather tongue with a Red Jumpman logo.This Air Jordan 3 is basically a Red version of the iconic “Black Cement” OG.A Black heel tab with “Nike Air” branding completes the design.

    Jordans 2019 Shoes will be expanding their Air Jordan Wings lineup with the Air Jordan 10 for 2020.While the inspiration behind the design is still unknown, this Air Jordan 10 “Wings” features a White leather upper with multicolored piping. Their Wings collection employs the power of education to help the youth unlock greatness.A Wings label tag on the lateral atop an icy translucent outsole with a Green Jumpman and Wings branding below completes the design. Other details includes a Silver mudguard, Green inner lining, a Black heel tab with Pink, Orange, Green, and Yellow embroidered dots.

    2019 Yeezy Boost is set to make its debut during the Spring 2020 season, which will include this “Triple Black” iteration.The adidas Yeezy Boost 700 MNVN “Triple Black” scheme featuring a nylon upper paired with reflective detailing and bold 700 branding printed on the sides. Finishing off the design is a solid Black sole with Boost cushioning.

    Air Jordan 3 | Buy Best Price Adidas&Nike Sport Sneakers
This reply was deleted.