5 Tip for Handling a Bad Mood

5 Tips for Handling a Bad Mood

Five suggestions for how to skillfully handle a bad mood
4
Share
email
Two weeks ago, I was in a bad mood—a mood so bad that it qualified for what we (un)affectionately refer to in our household as a foul mood. A bunch of little irritations had added up: some yarn I wanted was two weeks overdue in the mail; I couldn’t find a book I was looking for; the pull cord on one of my bedroom shades was hopelessly tangled. (I’ll spare you the rest.)

I don’t get in bad moods very often, but it happens and, to be frank, it feels awful. (A bad mood is to be distinguished from a heavy or dark mood that goes unchanged for weeks at a time. The latter could be a sign of clinical depression in which case I hope you'll seriously consider seeking the advice of a counselor.) 

Here are five suggestions for skillfully handling a bad mood:

Make an effort not to inflict your mood on others.

I try hard not to inflict a bad mood on those around me (usually my husband). And, when I slip up, I push myself to apologize even if I don’t feel like it. Not only is an apology a nice gesture toward another, but I’ve notice it can lessen the intensity of a bad mood. I think it’s because, when you apologize, you’re forced to reach out to another person and that takes you out of your self-focused mind set.

Cut yourself some slack.

I’ve yet to spend time with anyone who hasn’t been in a bad mood now and then. In a May, 2010 interview with Time Magazine, the Dalai Lama said that he still gets angry; I assume this means that he still can get in a bad mood. Many years ago, I had a Buddhist teacher who was wise and insightful…and subject to bad moods. I never knew what mood I’d encounter when I met with him.

The take away from these two examples is this: if these two people can be in a bad mood, feel free to cut yourself some slack when it happens to you! Adding a negative judgment to your mood, such as “I shouldn’t feel this way” does nothing but increase the likelihood that a bad mood will turn into a foul one. So, instead of blaming yourself, let it be okay with you to be in a bad mood now and then. It’s just one of the full range of emotions that everyone experiences in life.

When it happens, treat yourself with understanding and kindness, and see if there’s a way to ease how bad you’re feeling. A temporary distraction can help, such as a favorite movie or a warm bath.

Investigate it.

In How to Wake Up, I offer a four-step approach for working skillfully with an unpleasant mood or emotion. The third step is to investigate it. Sometimes this can yield surprisingly fruitful results. The day before this past Christmas, I was in a bad mood. My husband seemed quite cheerful, so I resolved not to inflict it on him. Instead, I decided to investigate why I was in such a funk.

I know that I can be a bit sad at times during the holidays, but I don’t recall ever being in such a bad mood right before Christmas—so cranky and irritable. Using investigation to think about my life, I uncovered a negative association I have with Christmas. I realized that, for me, it’s associated with loss—one loss after another.

When I was ten years old, my father died just before Christmas. I felt his absence every Christmas after that until I met my husband and began to spend Christmas with his family. My father-in-law, Huey, took the place of my dad. They were both kind, gentle, and good-natured men. I even remember telling my husband that Huey had become my Santa Claus because they both embodied good will and the cheerful spirit of Christmas. Then Huey died when I was 37, and Christmas lost its luster again.

I took refuge in the traditions we’d developed with our own children, but when they grew up and started families of their own, they started their own traditions. We know we’re welcome to join them (my daughter at her house in Los Angeles and my son at his in-laws near San Diego), but I’m too sick to travel. Another loss associated with the holidays.

This reflective investigation led me to see that this mild sadness I tend to feel when the holidays roll around had turned into a bad mood this year simply because of the cumulative effect of all those losses. As soon as I realized that I associate Christmas with loss, my bad mood turned into a blue mood—a familiar sadness that softened my heart and made it possible for compassion to arise over how hard this time of year can be for me.

When I compassionately accepted those losses as part of my life story, the blue mood eventually lifted, and I was able to make the best of the Christmas that lay before me.

Put your mood in perspective and consider reaching out to someone in need.

Yes, my mom was one of those parents who said: “Eat your food; there are children starving in China.” I consider it admirable that I never imposed this on my own children as they were trying to enjoy a meal. That said, thinking about how insignificant a bad mood is compared to the suffering in the world can put that mood into perspective. Imagine trying to raise your children in Syria right now, never knowing when explosives may hit your house. Imagine being a refuge, living in a tent city due to warfare or a natural disaster.

Putting a bad mood into perspective can not only make it less intense, but can inspire you to reach out to someone in need. Helping others is another skillful way to lessen the intensity of a bad mood. It works. I know, because I’ve tried it. The trick, of course, is remembering to try it. Practice helps; with practice, reaching out to others can become a habit.

Let it be until it runs its course.

I used to worry that a bad mood was the sign of a “new me”—that it was here to stay. But no bad mood has ever taken up permanent residence in my mind. This is because a mood is a mental state that arises due to causes and conditions of the moment, and those causes and conditions will change (that yarn I was waiting for did, indeed, arrive). Realizing the fleeting nature of a bad mood can help you hold it more lightly until it runs its course and passes out of your mind.

In my book, I call this “letting it be,” and it’s the last step in that four-step approach to working skillfully with a painful mood or emotion. A bad mood is only a temporary visitor. It’s no big deal. When it happens, let it be without aversion, and try the suggestions in this piece:

Make an effort not to inflict your mood on others;

Cut yourself some slack;

See whether investigation sheds light on its cause;

Put your mood in perspective and consider reaching out to someone in need;

Let it be until it runs its course, knowing that it’s not a permanent part of who you are.

© 2014 Toni Bernhard www.tonibernhard.com

E-mail me when people leave their comments –

You need to be a member of HEALING INTUITION MASSAGE THERAPY CLINIC to add comments!

Comments

  • Small and mid-sized businesses don't understand what identity theft can do to their business until it is too late. These thieves can gain access to key accounts and drain them, many times, before the bank is aware of the act. The cost of can be enormous and can shut a business down. There are three key steps every business must take to protect against this kind of crime. Criminals act quickly, so, a business must work hard to implement these key steps to protect its money, image and future. Cyclical Unemployment

    Education Is Around - Hub
    Hub
  • An online business directory is a website submission service that allows your small business's website to be added to a specific category where it can be searched for by interested visitors. These searchable online directories allow their visitors to search for websites and businesses that they find interesting or that they want to learn more about. Listing your small business on an online directory increases your website's visibility on the web and helps to create inbound links to your business' website. Online directories make it easy for people to find what they are looking for. All they have to do is jump online, which means that people could find your business' website from their home, office or even while traveling. Somatosensory Cortex

    The Education - Education Is Life
    Education Is Life
  • If you want to start a business from scratch and are lacking experience in that specific industry then this article is for you to read. Find out the most comprehensive details about starting a fresh business without any experience at all. First Insurance Funding

    It Business mind - world biggest market
    world biggest market
  • When your business has grown to multiple 6-7-figures, it will require that you begin to step into a CEO and Visionary role to lead your business to higher levels of growth. The business now has a life of its own and if you stay in the doing role too long, you will lose control of your vision. Business Quotes

    Motivational Business Quotes
    Business Quotes: Inspirational quotes and motivational sayings have an amazing ability to change the way we feel about life.
  • Building a business requires considerable time and effort, and how do you maintain your business legacy? Read on to learn how you can help protect your business in the future through business succession planning Most Volatile Stocks

  • Each generation of the Air Jordan series has its own signature features. The combination of these iconic features creates a derivative that also has an outstanding value. The most famous derivative is the Jordan Spizike series, which is the same name as the director Spike Lee. Recently, another new color scheme, the Air Jordan Spizike Black Grape official, was released. These shoes are decorated with eye-catching black and purple, and the suede and patent leather form the body. Black and white purple three-color midsole, outsole purple outline, the overall texture is exquisite and outstanding.

    Jordans 2019 Shoes,The Air Max 720 series which debuted Air Max Day this year, has won the favor of many shoe fans. Recently, there are two new styles of exposure, the performance is very novel. The two shoes are designed with a medium-sized design and a larger-sized tongue for an extremely atmospheric look. The Nike Air Max 720 Mid color scheme is based on a simple white color, and the upper is matched with a white wave point design to bring a looming visual effect. The upper position is matched with a 3D effect grid design. The details are embellished with bright orange accents, perfecting the design of the entire pair of shoes. The black models are designed with the same design in mind, with dark blue, fluorescent green and red. It is worth mentioning that the sole is made of fluorescent green, and it is not clear whether it is a luminous outsole.

    New Jordan can be called the most powerful running shoes of this year, and another new version of ZoomX Vista Grind equipped with the same cushioning, also captured many players with exaggerated increase effect. An ultra-thick midsole with a unique hollow design and a ZoomX cushioning material inside. Compared with other commercially available color flaps, Nike ZoomX Vista Grind has been changed to a woven material, which is more suitable for autumn and winter. At the same time, the ZoomX technology of this pair of shoes is reshaped using production waste to form a softer structure. The foot feels softer than professional running shoes and is suitable for everyday wear.

    Air Jordan Spizike | Buy Best Price Adidas&Nike Sport Sneakers
  • To begin it was just announced that the Air Jordan 5 “Island Green” will be featured in their “Singles Day” 2019 collection along with the Air Jordan 34 “Snow Leopard”.Air Jordan 5 Island Green arrives with a fresh colorway that is composed of white, island green and black. As the 5 has seen a decrease in releases, sneakerheads love the silhouette when it’s accompanied with a great colorway so this release will likely be a big one. While the upper takes on white, island green is then featured on the midfoot, lacing eyelets and tongue.Black laces and a black midsole along with a translucent outsole finish off the new design. When exposed to light a tonal leopard pattern shines across the upper for a 3M reflective flare.

    Michael Jordan was in the midst of his first hiatus from the NBA, and JB had to find a way to continue selling the new model. Thus, the City Series was born. While his version featured the number 13 embroidered on the heel, the consumer release saw the Jumpman logo replacing personalized players numbers. Now, 24 years after the original release, the Air Jordan 10 Seattle are on their way back.The project outfitted the Air Jordan 10 with colorways inspired by five important NBA cities, with each pair debuting on the feet of a select player from each team. While we’ve seen several colorways from the Air Jordan 10 City Series return in recent years, this is the first time the Supersonics colorway is making its way back to retail shelves. While the AJ10 isn’t the most popular model on the block these days, anything Sonics themed is likely to move well.For the Seattle Supersonics, this meant fan-favorite Kendall Gill would don the signature colorway, representing the Pacific Northwest in style.

    Nike Kyrie 5 was the Ikhet version that Concepts pulled out last December. Although arriving in a blue colorway, ironically the silhouette does not look to give anyone the blues.The colorway and theme were one of the best to adorn Kyrie Irving’s fifth signature shoe and following the success, they look to collaborate again for round 2. Taking inspiration from the night sky and constellations the upper features a gradient design from baby blue to dark blue. A tan lace shroud contrasts well as Concepts branding is featured on the tongue in a constellation design. A two-tone midsole and outsole complete the fresh design.

    Air Jordan 5 | Buy Best Price Adidas&Nike Sport Sneakers
  • In addition to the black and red Air Jordan 11 that is about to return at the end of the year, the new Air Jordan 11 physical renderings exposed by the overseas shoe account zsneakerheadz have attracted the attention of many fans. Air Jordan 11 WMNS White Grey The overall color look is very similar to the previous Cool Jordan Air Jordan 11. The shoe body replaces the classic patent leather design with a very bright glitter material, with a white leather upper, showing a very luxurious look. The color scheme that is very similar to the first year, coupled with the eye-catching material of the shoe, will surely yield a good market response. Unfortunately, this color is only available as a WMNS style. The favorite male shoe fans can only regret it. .

    2019 Sneakers Release the blue silk CLOT x Nike Air Force 1 was instantly exposed to the focus of the entire shoe circle At the end of last month, and the next pair of top joint sneakers was booked in advance. Dr. Woo then took out the blue silk on the foot and showed the appearance of the upper after the first time. It can be seen that the inner upper is in wheat color and the embossed pattern is exactly the same as the previous design. CLOT x Nike Air Force 1 PRM's upper changed to a royal blue silk fabric to create an upper. The difference between the previous red silk and white silk design is that this time the crystal outsole was changed to a white midsole. A combination of a plastic outsole. Although the combination of blue and raw rubber looks a bit strange, it should look more harmonious after the upper is scraped off.

    2019 Yeezy Boost new color scheme "Teal Blue" of Yeezy Boost 700, which was scheduled to be released on October 19 this week, is rumored to be a ticket to the beginning of next month. After the release of the official map, the freshly baked foot shots also appeared on the network! Keep the Yeezy Boost 700's vintage running shoes in a variety of shades of cyan and grey. The Yeezy Boost 700 Teal Blue has a light khaki outsole that retains the original 3M reflective detail and is still rich in visual detail. The standard grandfather style is retro and resistant to dirt. From the latest top-up map, perhaps because of the light, the actual hue seems to be slightly lighter than the official map. The midsole is still equipped with Boost cushioning technology. Whether it is comfort or more suitable for the autumn and winter color scheme, I am afraid it is a good hand to wear on the street!

    Air Jordan 11 | Buy Best Price Adidas&Nike Sport Sneakers
  • 2019 Sneakers Release has always been favored by trend players, retro shoes and rich color schemes, becoming one of the preferred shoes for the street. Recently, a new color matching Air Max 95 is coming soon. The Nike Air Max 95 Ultra Dark Blue is presented in dark blue tones with grey stripes and is applied to the Air Max 95's signature wavy body for a rich layering. The biggest highlight is that the details of the shoe body are added with bright fluorescent green embellishment to invigorate the whole pair of shoes. At the same time, 3M reflective elements and waterproof materials are added to further reflect the function of the shoes.

    Kobe's classic boots, the Nike Zoom Kobe 4, have commemorated a number of color combinations this year, such as the UNDEFEATED x Zoom Kobe 4, or the Zoom Kobe 4, which is already high. At the original price, there was a hot trend in the first year of the launch. The Nike Zoom Kobe 4 Protro uses an extremely rare snake-scale leather to create a vamp. Dark black matte fine lines outline the scales that spread from the toe to the tongue, presenting a cool and noble black Mamba temperament. Contrast with dark black, the Kobe Logo and Swoosh Logo, which are composed of sky blue and bright yellow, contrast brightly. The inner and outer lace holes are decorated in yellow and blue. The forefoot is bright yellow midsole, and the overall design is very advanced. Such a gorgeous color scheme is expected to be a good idea for many shoe fans.

    In this year's celebration of the 30th anniversary of the birth of Air Jordan 4, the original Air Jordan 4, which was originally released in April, has not been officially released. These two pairs of Air Jordan 4 are inspired by the film "Do The Right Thing" directed by Spike Lee, and they are highly regarded because of their color matching like Gucci. Although these two pairs of shoes may not be available for sale, there have been a number of new Air Jordan 4 WMNS "Do The Right Thing" renderings. It can be seen from the renderings that the whole pair of shoes are designed on the basis of white cement color matching. The details include red, yellow and blue colors to echo the theme of the movie. The midsole and the heel are decorated with cement splashes. As early as 2017, I have exposed a pair of friends and relatives version of Air Jordan 4 with the theme of "Do The Right Thing", which should have a good popularity compared to the commercial version.

    2019 Sneakers Release – 2019 Nike Jordan and Adidas Sneakers Release Date
  • Both the physical picture and the foot map have been seen countless times, and the latest two colors of the Sacai x Nike Blazer Mid are finally on sale! Different from the previous gorgeous dress, this time is a simple new product. The leather upper designed by the middle, this shoe type is also a perfect match for autumn and winter wear, and will become the darling of street players. A pair of black and grey tones, Sacai's unique exaggerated deconstruction elements are still eye-catching. The other pair is a refreshing white-gray tone, which is more eye-catching and more energetic, and the visual level is still rich and delicate.

    Jordans 2019 Shoes welcomes the joint new products. This time, together with the local skateboard shop Ben-G in Amsterdam, the Netherlands, brings another cooperation. I chose the Dunk SB Low low-cut shoes, which is currently hot. It seems that there is no Swoosh in the distance, but in the near future, you will find that these shoes actually have "numerous hooks"! The pure white leather upper is covered with small Swoosh in various directions, and it is displayed on the upper with the impression of printing. The visual experience is quite special. The white body is paired with a beige sole, and the inner lining and tongue label are decorated in fresh green. The overall effect is refreshing and easy to wear.

    Cheap Jordans 2020 has brought another city color scheme with the same theme, which is the Nike Air Force 1 Low “What The NYC”. Like the LA version, it uses a multi-material multi-tone asymmetrical approach. This NYC New York version also incorporates graffiti text, which is also eye-catching in the choice of materials. In addition to a variety of leather texture stitching, you can also see tannin fabric and basketball material! Bring a familiar and unique visual experience. The far-sightedness is an eye-catching eye-catching artifact, and the near-reward is a visual boutique with a delicate artistic sense.

    Nike Blazer | Buy Best Price Adidas&Nike Sport Sneakers
This reply was deleted.